Wade has a little story he loves to tell whenever the conversation turns to shopping and it goes like this:
Ten years ago, I needed a PERFECT pair of shoes to go with my perfect little red dress which I only wore once to a Christmas party that he still remembers today. Oh yes, I looked hawt! if I say so myself. Everyone else said so anyway...My hair was in an up-do with this magnificent little cocktail dress - dark red, body hugging and showing a classy amount of my then very little, very taut flesh under the gorgeous shawl I draped over my tanned shoulders.
Oh, but that wasn't the story. The week before, we went shoe hunting. I wanted a pair of shoes that matched the dress, but seeing as that was my only red item of clothing, I needed to find something that I could wear again. The trip to the two malls took three hours and it was fruitless. I ended up wearing an old pair of shoes that actually looked nice with the dress. When Wade relays the story, he likes to say that it took all day. I guess it's a miracle that he still likes to go shopping with me.
His dad had been visiting us this week and decided that he wanted to go shoe shopping. We decided to go along as Wade and the kids needed some shoes too. They went on to the shoe shop that I don't really like while I went to inquire about a new cell phone. I had to wait in line and then the consultant took his own sweet time to serve me. When I finally reached the shoe shop, my family had disappeared. I walked all the way to the other side of the mall, going into every shop that sells shoes (it must be about 80% of shops - the other 20% were food / electronic / home ware stores), but they were nowhere to be found.
At the far end, I turned back and repeated the process, in reverse. The only hope that they never left me at the mall expecting me to walk home, was that the car was still parked in the lot,but bow y now I was ready to start walking home by myself. I remembered leaving the kids bedroom window open, so I'd be able to get into the house. It was a far walk, but I was livid!
Just as I jutted out my chin, pushed my shoulders back and decided "this is it!", I reached the initial shoe shop next to the phone shop and there they were. It would seem they were all hidden behind shoe shelves when I first looked. At least they were all ready to go now. They have been waiting for me (really?) to give them my valued opinion (opinion or guidance?).
And then all chaos broke loose!
Everyone wanted me to look (just quickly!) at what they chose. Hubby had two pairs of trainers and had the two boxes ready to pay when he decided to take a size smaller.
Father-in-law couldn't find anything he liked and wanted to try on everything - granted, he has a problem with his foot. My daughter had 20 pairs of thong sandals and would not consider anything else: sneakers are for boys, ballet flats are too closed and she doesn't like closed shoes. To make matters worse, she's a UK size 5. I am a UK size 8 and I am 20 years older than her. I knew she's almost my height, but I remember holding her when she was three months old - her whole little foot was the size of my big toe. (Oh damn! Pass the Kleenex - any other moms out there cry at the smallest things relating to their kids?)
The only one who was happy with his choice of Ben10 sneakers, was my boy and I was so proud of him until he said: "They're just a little too small, but it's okay." No, no, no, no, noooooooo!!! Turns out my kids are at that stage where they no longer make Ben10 and Hannah Montana shoes in their size and in the race between Ben10 and properly sized shoes, there really is no contest. As a woman, I guess I should have empathy.
An hour later we left the store, everyone happy with their purchases and exhausted to the bone. Who knew that shoe shopping with men can be so exhausting? When it was my turn, I walked into the shop, grabbed some girly stuff in my size and walked out - 5 minutes tops.
Upon our return to the hotel where FIL and the kids stayed for the week, we went to play bingo, where my girl won a sauna voucher. After the sauna, we went for an amazing seafood dinner to top of a good day of living the lives of the rich and famous cougars.
Shopping, bingo, sauna and seafood - a day well spent!