Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Wonderful World of Orthotic shoes

There comes a time in all our lives (male and female, young and old) where we must acknowledge the age differences that bond us together in one giant global catastrophe. We have the 50’s babies strolling, The 60’s babies are busy doing the Twist, while the 70’s babies are out of this world, the 80’s babies are getting their ‘groove thang on’ while the 90’s babies have to embrace bad popular music followed by brief periods of musical enlightenment. As for the millennium generation… I apologize for the short comings of the “Booty Dew”.

Shortcomings and amazingly cool dances aside I must point out the one thing that bonds us all together: The incredibly horrible feeling you get after dancing in a pair of uncomfortable but amazingly gorgeous shoes. Like the weather, foot pain is the one topic we can all relate too! We will all one day own a pair of orthotic shoes and gush about how comfortable they are! I mean, why not? For the past 30 years the 30’s babies have been jamming their feet into uncomfortable shoes so they look good! They deserve the right to hide their walking devices in a pair of shoes that are just as unattractive as they are comfortable.

When you get ready to go to the club, you have to have an outfit. This includes a pair of shoes. And while I think shoes are amazing I also have a bone to pick with them. How am I supposed to “get down with my bad self” if my feet feel like giant swollen marshmallows? I look lovely while standing, sitting, leaning and generally not walking. However, when actual movement such as dancing comes into play my feet fail me. I’m scared of tripping, what if I get to into the music and I fall, or worst what if I twist an ankle?!!

So, I set on a mission to solve this problem. Boy oh boy did I solve it! I have come to the conclusion that as a generation we must embrace orthotics as the go to club wear. I tested my theory. I gathered a pair of my aunt’s orthotic shoes, head phones and my MP3 player. I then closed and locked my bedroom door and began to dance. At first I felt ridiculous! Who grooves out in the middle of their bedroom but then…I had a moment of sheer blissful joy. My feet were not hurting; I could feel my ankles and guess what? Not once did I frantically try to support myself on my bookcase. To be fair… I put on a pair of heels and tried to dance… now when I say dance I mean stumble! And that is when my idea hit me: Orthotic shoes should dominate the club scene.

Orthotic shoes offer:
Peace of mind
Full support
A better posture
The ability to bust out with all those amazing dance moves
And long term benefits into your own age

While heels offer:
Long term pain
And the inability to dance

So why oh why wouldn’t orthotic shoes be an acceptable pair of shoes to wear to the club? I tell you why! Denial.

Some might ask "Is she being serious?" Well I say.. "No." But I had you going for awhile didn't I? ;)

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