Top 16 Uses for Shoes

Shoes are very versatile and have many uses. However, the fashion world would only like us mere mortals to believe that there is one use for shoes which is to wear them on our feet. However, I after nights of searching, asking the tough and hard hitting questions have uncovered the REAL uses for shoes. I am going to expose the top 16 uses for your generous collection of shoes. While their most common use is to be worn for function or fashion shoes have a number of uses that have been long covered up and kept from the public. I, Danielle Vanessa the Intern plan to expose the top 16 ‘other’ uses of shoes!

1. Anchoring a small boat to a dock
2. Hammering in nails
3. Door Stopper – Don’t have real door stopper on hand. Throw a shoe in there and continue on with your day.
4. Nifty candy bowl holder – Pretty, functional and now sweet. Just wipe the shoe out first… no one like’s foot smell.
5. Flower Planter – Shoes and flowers? What more could a girl want?!
6. Book end – Unstable? Put to shoes at the end of it.
7. Paper weight – Windy? Put a shoe on it.
8. Weight – Too lazy to go to the gym? Just grab those 80’s throw backs out of your closet and get to lifting.
9. Soup Ladle – Don’t want to wash the dishes? No Problem!
10. Bug Swatter/Killer – Scary Spider in the corner? No issues here just grab a shoe!
11. Handy Dandy back scratcher
12. Impromptu Mic (you can use it to sing like a rock star in the shower, or in the privacy of your own room.)
13. Incognito Money Hider (Ever been robbed? Want to prevent your rainy day money from being stolen?) Most robbers look between the mattress, toilet bowl, and freezer and in drawers. Your shoe will be a random and therefore safe place for your rainy day money.
14. Art – Place your shoes in thick edged frames and “frame” them. Take them down when you want to wear them. No one will be able to call you out on your shoe habits because it’s art!
15. SOS Flag – If you’re going through a natural disaster and need to let everyone know you’re in trouble and need help - just tie a white or cream colored shoe to the end of a stick and wave it around. Remember: Shoe’s save lives.
16. Toy Dog Bed - Have a toy poodle? Don't know where to put the little guy for his nap? Try a sneaker! They're warm, cozy and allow you to carry your little guy where ever you go.

Have you ever had to used a shoe for a more “creative” use than it was intended for?

For The Curious

The intern is actually away. Far enough away that my cellphone service is "pending" whenever I send tweets or facebook updates but close enough to get all my texts nine hours later (thi is truly the age of wonderous and reliable technology!) how am I sending this blog post you ma ask? Well... The internet connection here is what we'd call dial up. Because I'm away (I have pictures to show you guys when I get back!)I don't have a big story to tell on this wonderful Monday morning but I d have information to share.Information that is charming, surprising and even bit cool. The Bata Shoe Museum has a wonderful new exhibit: Footwear Through The Ages. My best friend had the wonderful oppertunity to go and explore the Bata and now I think I'm going to be planning a trip to the Bata myself.

For any of you looking to save on airfare, hotel and any othr costs you can check out thier totally awesome online collections. But seriousy.... From the tiny cellphone picture I got via SMM I have to say I was totally turning green! So please for all the shoe lovers out there take a moment and check out this totally cool an rather awesome exhibit preview :)

Saving is the new Shopping... for now.

I don’t know how many of you have experienced this but I had this happen to me on Saturday. I went out in search of this particular type of webcam type/ recording device and came up with nothing. I did however find a new purse that was 90% off. I did however see a bunch of clothes in the mall that I would have died for, a few pairs of shoes that I wanted to romp around town in and a dress that I envision myself dancing in. And while all these things were glitzy, glam and glorious…. I marched right out of that store and told myself I didn’t “need” those things and went on my merry way.

This was very hard for me and is probably going to be hard for the rest of my life. I love buying new things and I admit that fresh smell when you bring something home from the store is addicting. Or even the way a new %100 cotton top feels against your skin – if you haven’t experienced it… well you donno what love is. But the one thing I’m trying to teach myself as a born money spender is that all things come to those who wait earn it. That I don’t need something on the basis of thinking I need it. While I would have loved to spend a whole whack load of money my goal is to save fashionably. What is that? To continually look good every time I deposit money in my savings account. I’d like to have a good chunk of change by the time I graduate and my shopping habits are the first thing that need to be nipped in the bud.

Have any of you had to resist buying something because you have a goal?

Big Brother: The Barefoot House

I’m a Big Brother fan. I haven’t always been a fan and I’m going to be honest for the first few seasons I wouldn’t watch it. I don’t know why and I’m not sure what inner issues I’ve had with it but CLEARLY my issues were resolved because now I can’t help but get in a fit when my favorite player is jerked around or voted off. The one thing that I’ve noticed for the long time on Big Brother is that they rarely wear shoes and when they do it’s a pair of UGG’s or flip flops. On special nights such as voting night they girls dress to the nines and usually wear a pair of heels or nice flats. I’ve always wondered why this is – I think the contrast from always seeing house guests in bare feet, flip flops or UGGS really messes with my mind when I suddenly see them dressed up. It’s like when your frumpy friend gets a well needed makeover. The other thing about this barefoot custom is that the men wear flip flops. I’m not sure about you ladies but a man in flops has always been something I can’t get down with. Especially when they wear a pair of flip flops with a hoodie and shorts. Why do it? Are you cold or are you hot? I just don’t get it. Seriously.

Feet have also played a very major role in Big Brother History:
- Rachel and Bredon’s showmance turn romance is notably famous for the moment Brendon pulls the cover over them so they can have their first makeout session without the world watching. The only part not covered? Brenden’s feet.

- Many of the competitors suffer from foot in mouth disease. This is a very dangerous disease and leaves competitors open to treachery, treason and high crimes of hypocritical acts.

Have any of you noticed the barefootness around Big Brother? Have any of you noticed how barefeet take a giant role in their social world?

Stolen Purse = Stolen Life

I was going to write a post on what I wore this weekend (I was invited to a party) however my purse was stolen and my ticket and all major I.D’s were in there. As a result, I’ve been home most of the weekend except for a movie (which I wore sweats too) and to go shopping (sweats again.)
However, having a purse stolen has really got me to thinking. I got up that morning like it was a typical day. I got ready, had my coffee and packed my breakfast and was off. When I got to work I placed my purse underneath the desk and my Blackberry in a drawer. When I went to go make my meal I never thought I’d come back to no purse. When it happened I first thought “oh my goodness why am I so forgetful?!?” and blamed my own absentmindedness. But as I looked and I didn’t find my beautiful Nine West bag I realized it was not my Twenty One Year Old mind going haywire but my purse was actually gone. Since that day I haven’t been able to do what I normally do and that’s LIVE. I can’t go out because I can’t prove I’m legal which is 18 here. I can’t apply for various school programs etc… and I’m slowly realizing that women keep their lives in a portable bag. Which for the owner that’s great and dandy but for anyone else looking for a portable bag that isn’t theirs to claim as their own it’s really an inconvenience.

What do I propose as an alternative?
I haven’t the slightest. Why? Because as a woman that loves shoes and purses (I beleive one cannot be without the other) my philosophy is that if you have feet and you wear shoes the next step is to find a cute purse or hand bag that compliments your shoes because you have an arm it can rest perfectly on.

So I propose we go out into the world as normal, with our bags attached to us and we keep living and if it’s taken from us we cry our little cry and then replace all our I.D’s ( my SIN card and passport was in there mind you) and we move on with our lives. Giving someone the power to render us useless over a bag is pointless…

And that is what I plan to do.

I already got myself a new bag and complimentary shoes.

What Not To Wear

We all love to showcase our fashion triumphs but today I’m going to share with you the biggest fashion mistake I’ve ever made.

Let me set the scene for you with a little picturesque description: I was a 17 year old High Student that was late for her morning job (yes! you read right a morning job that started at 5:30am.) More importantly it was a cold Manitoba winter morning. This meant that is was -40 without wind shield and in the -50 with it. While the bears, foxes, deer and other generic prarie wild animals had run for cover in the warmth of their dens, holes in the ground, gaves or where ever I was made to wake up at 5:05 and trudge to a neighbours house where I did morning proctoring. Loved the job. Hated the chilly mornings.

I had been dreaming well past 5:20am which is the time I usually left for work. And so I rushed out of bed, tripped over some random clothing on the floor and grabbed whatever was closest to me. This happened to be a t-shirt, a pair of 80's sweat pants, my uggs and a very puffy winter jacket.

The majority of the day is a blurr now but I can remember being pretty self concious even though I lived in a small town of maybe 2.700 people at the time. I remember thinking "What if people see me?" I'm kind of wondering who, I thought these "people" were but at the time I was really upset that I wasn't making a fashionable impression.I really wish I could relive that moment. Thinking about it now I’m still embarrassed but we live and we learn and hopefully we throw out the sweat pants that make us look like we just crawled out of the 80’s.

The wonderful hat that completed my fashion tragedy was borrowed from a school chum.

I used it to openly flaunt my shame and highlight my wonderful messy hair.


Do you have a fashion disaster moment you wish to relive? How would you change it?

A special thanks!

THANK YOU!
I can’t tell you how excited I am. I’ve posting on twitter, Facebook and I’m even working hard on a Youtube video for Help The Intern. More importantly I wanted to say thank you to everyone that has followed me on Twitter, added me to facebook, sent me emails and especially liked the If The Shoe Doesn’t Fit Facebook page. All of your words of encouragement are wonderful! I have to admit I feel sort of silly sometimes asking people for help but… guess what? That’s what this internship what about. Getting over those silly fears, removing myself “the box” and charging ahead! I’m learning that putting myself out there isn’t as scary as I thought and that even “strangers” are willing to help you!

The Wonderful World of Orthotic shoes

There comes a time in all our lives (male and female, young and old) where we must acknowledge the age differences that bond us together in one giant global catastrophe. We have the 50’s babies strolling, The 60’s babies are busy doing the Twist, while the 70’s babies are out of this world, the 80’s babies are getting their ‘groove thang on’ while the 90’s babies have to embrace bad popular music followed by brief periods of musical enlightenment. As for the millennium generation… I apologize for the short comings of the “Booty Dew”.

Shortcomings and amazingly cool dances aside I must point out the one thing that bonds us all together: The incredibly horrible feeling you get after dancing in a pair of uncomfortable but amazingly gorgeous shoes. Like the weather, foot pain is the one topic we can all relate too! We will all one day own a pair of orthotic shoes and gush about how comfortable they are! I mean, why not? For the past 30 years the 30’s babies have been jamming their feet into uncomfortable shoes so they look good! They deserve the right to hide their walking devices in a pair of shoes that are just as unattractive as they are comfortable.

When you get ready to go to the club, you have to have an outfit. This includes a pair of shoes. And while I think shoes are amazing I also have a bone to pick with them. How am I supposed to “get down with my bad self” if my feet feel like giant swollen marshmallows? I look lovely while standing, sitting, leaning and generally not walking. However, when actual movement such as dancing comes into play my feet fail me. I’m scared of tripping, what if I get to into the music and I fall, or worst what if I twist an ankle?!!

So, I set on a mission to solve this problem. Boy oh boy did I solve it! I have come to the conclusion that as a generation we must embrace orthotics as the go to club wear. I tested my theory. I gathered a pair of my aunt’s orthotic shoes, head phones and my MP3 player. I then closed and locked my bedroom door and began to dance. At first I felt ridiculous! Who grooves out in the middle of their bedroom but then…I had a moment of sheer blissful joy. My feet were not hurting; I could feel my ankles and guess what? Not once did I frantically try to support myself on my bookcase. To be fair… I put on a pair of heels and tried to dance… now when I say dance I mean stumble! And that is when my idea hit me: Orthotic shoes should dominate the club scene.

Orthotic shoes offer:
Peace of mind
Comfort
Full support
A better posture
The ability to bust out with all those amazing dance moves
And long term benefits into your own age

While heels offer:
Long term pain
Fear
And the inability to dance

So why oh why wouldn’t orthotic shoes be an acceptable pair of shoes to wear to the club? I tell you why! Denial.

Some might ask "Is she being serious?" Well I say.. "No." But I had you going for awhile didn't I? ;)